Thursday, 07 December 2006
(Topical) A response to Germaine Greer's Golden Bull award from the Plain English Campaign.
~
> Look around.
You are in a room. You can see a bookshelf.
> Walk to the bookshelf.
> Look at the bookshelf.
You find a dictionary.
> Pick up the dictionary.
> Open the dictionary.
You find some words.
> Close the dictionary.
> Get the potion. Kill the goblin with the sword.
You cannot see a potion. You cannot see a goblin. You do not have a sword.
> Take the dictionary.
You take the dictionary.
> Look around.
You are in a room. You have a dictionary.
> Go west
> Look around.
You are in a room. You can see some art.
> Look at the art.
The art is complex.
> Get the art.
You cannot take that!
> Look at the art.
The art is complex.
> Use the art.
What do you want to use it for?
[Very long pause, very long indeed]
> Kill goblin with art.
You cannot see a goblin.
> Go south
> Look around
You are in a room. You can see a critic.
> Look at critic.
The critic looks 100% strong and 0% wounded. She is wearing armour type spectacles. She is carrying weapon type Uppman's No 2 (lit).
> Talk to critic.
What do you want to say?
> Say to critic "Hello"
You say to critic "Hello". Critic says to you "Hello adventurer. I can help you. You may ask me about items if you wish."
> Ask critic about dictionary.
Critic says to you "That is a dictionary. It is an object of the type book. You can read words in the dictionary."
> Ask critic about art.
Critic says to you "That is some art. It is an object of the type sculpture. You can contemplate the art."
> Go north
> Contemplate art.
You do not understand the art. You need words to understand the art.
> Go south.
> Ask critic about words.
Critic says to you "Words are in the dictionary!"
> Kill critic with dictionary.
You attack the critic!
Critic bashes you 5% with spell Irony!
Critic bashes you 10% with spell Aesthetic Sensibility!
Critic bashes you 10% with spell Explaining It One More Time, Slowly!
You attempt to bash critic with spell Wilful Misunderstanding. You miss.
Critic bashes you 50% with spell Imaginative Swearing!
Critic bashes you 25% with spell Just Because You Don't Understand It Doesn't Mean It's Wrong!
You are dead.
A goblin enters.
> Go north.
You are dead.
> Kill goblin.
You are dead.
The goblin says "Clarify that, tosser."
~
Comments
In Greer's rebuttal she says I kind of hope she's being sarcastic there, because, erm, "reasonably educated" = "has studied aesthetic theory" is a big leap.
at 23:16 on 2006-12-23 by Arthur B
It's a rather difficult judgement call because usually anything you say that's prefaced by "I consider myself a reasonably educated person" is likely to be obscured by wank. However even though I'm sure by some definition of the term I have a resonable education - I don't know anything about aesthetic theory. Nevertheless we're call capable of judicious googling and I'm rather flattered than Germaine Greer has a higher opinion of my intellect than I admittedly deserve :)
at 13:01 on 2007-01-01 by Kyra Smith
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