Brothers and Sisters,

We all know that there are certain things in life which are Good For The Soul. Christine's Gardens. Bach's Cantati. Aretha Franklin. Cute Overload. These things connect us with the great, the joyous, the lovable side of ourselves and the world, and we are all the better for them. However, it cannot be overlooked that there are certain other things which are positively soul-destroyingly, toxically evil. They are stumbling blocks in our path, temptations and snares, manifestations of the dark void of uselessness.

We are all alike imperfect. Some of us lapse on a daily basis. (Indeed, some of us positively revel in the stuff; but they are not among us, they are in the Outer Darkness, watching Wrestlemania! and eating KFC, and They Know Who They Are, but we need not concern ourselves with such perverse souls.)

In order to facilitate your penitence, I have compiled a list of soul-destroying cultural artefacts. It is, alas, not exhaustive. I didn't even have room for A.A. Gill or Hello Kitty, that's how bad things are. It is, however, a humble contribution to the Hamartiology of Cultural Shite.

Here Endeth the Lesson.

An Easy-Reference Table of Cultural Artefacts, Organised by Soul-Destroying Qualities.

Avarice + Envy = The Weakest Link

Avarice + Gluttony = Tesco Clubcard Points

Avarice + Lust = Daily *FREE* Porn Direct To Your Inbox!

Avarice + Pride = Eggheads

Avarice + Sloth = Deal or No Deal

Avarice + Wrath = The Apprentice " You're Fired!


Envy + Glutt Food

Envy + Lust = Botox

Envy + Pride = Fake Tan

Envy + Sloth = eBay

Envy + Wrath = The Daily Mail


Gluttony + Lust = Nigella Lawson

Gluttony + Pride = The Michelin Guide

Gluttony + Sloth = Tesco Home Deliveries

Gluttony + Wrath = Supersize Me


Lust + Pride = Am I Hot Or Not?

Lust + Sloth = Rampant Rabbit

Lust + Wrath = Gay Pride Badges


Pride + Sloth = Afroman

Pride + Wrath = "I'm In UR Base Killin UR Doodz!!!"


Sloth + Wrath = Halo 2